this, right here, is exactly what people outside the US don't understand. most Europeans could never understand how much we have to lose if we rebel against even our local government. we work hard to get where we are, harder than most outside the US, and there is a legitimate fear of losing it all by doing the wrong thing. *especially* if you have a less than desirable past. when you act out, you're not only risking your future, but the future of your family. you're risking the trust you built. you're risking all the support from those that helped you get to where you are. you can only change what you have the power to do so and the only power we really have is to protect the ones we care and love for. I see you dude. you're doing great.