@Maker_of_Things @Susan60 although we would have taken in one of my folks if they had needed it. So they did absolutely the right thing in telling us not to take that step. They have been there for everyone in the family all my life and currently visit my auntie daily to help with her needs in their 70s. We'd have probably done the same for her Dad (who passed away almost 15 years ago now) who did everything he could for the extended family as well. Sounds harsh I know :(