"On the next episode of 'Ask This Old House', if it answers, run. Because that'd be so scary if it did, right? I mean, is it g-g-g-ghosts? Is it Ents that got processed into lumber? Oh, that'd be worse than ghosts. Like being bricked behind a wall like that drunk guy in the story by Edgar Amontillado. He also wrote The Crow, about some shit-talking bird that hung-out with the scarecrow from Wizard of Oz, or Jesus, and they fought crime. But they couldn't stop Home Depot from chopping down Ents."