Catherynne M. Valente

I love how random X users are like "Surely I have the solution no one else on this planet has thought of! I, Rando, have done it!"

They think just like their idol. Yes no one's ever considered getting around the Strait of Hormuz in the history of being a dick in the Middle East.

Concerning the war in Iran, and probably one of the saddest things I've ever written.

https://catvalente.substack.com/p/whats-a-panama

The Childe has become very interested in Tarot, so I’ve been teaching them to read cards as I once did professionally oh-so-long-ago.

They just referred to this (7 of Wands) as:

“The Strugglebus Card”

Annual reminder of the True Meaning and Origin of Valentine’s Day and why it’s still completely wonderful whether you have a partner or not:

https://catvalente.substack.com/p/on-valentines-day

Am crazy sick. AGAIN. Love winter with a 2nd grader. They get over it in a day, I feel like I’m dying for weeks.

Back soon. Sorry!

My god, 35+ online dating is just an ocean of the saddest eyes you’ve ever seen.

And I’m not even saying mine aren’t included.

I am from Seattle.

I live in Maine.

I do not actually care about football. But I care about the Seahawks. A little.

I am at a bar that by definition is All-In for the Patriots.

Someone just saw my blue & green hair extensions & *recoiled.*

“Cat what the fuck are you doing?”

And Reader, I got to say it. In the right context.

BITCH I AM FROM SEATTLE! #dragrace #superbowl

FYI, I have an arrangement with @printbookstore.bsky.social, my local indie, whereby you can order my books from them & I’ll come in & sign them before they ship!

They have ONE for me to sign, & I gotta take a whole boat to do it—SO YOU GUYS SHOULD ORDER SOME BOOKS FROM PRINT SO I CAN SIGN EM ALL AT ONCE WHY NOT

The more that comes out, the more it feels like Epstein was low-key running half the planet to a bizarrely granular degree, until he died, at which point the desperate need to hide that fact kept on running it.

RE: @Catvalente@wandering.shop

I want to stress this didn’t come from me.

I said I’d find them a charity if they were serious about it, but they should give it a think, & know it *will* help someone but no donation can solve a problem overnight.

Once I found charities, all they wanted was to earn more money because: “I only have $25, it’s not enough.”

If a 7yr old can have empathy for strangers in a country they couldn’t find on a map, come the fuck on, adults.

Some time ago, the Childe & I were talking about prejudice/racism/sexism. I gave some modern examples to show these are not just issues from olden times.

Months later, they tell me they want to save all their chore money to give to women in Afghanistan.

Hate is TAUGHT. We’re born to care. To try.

SO PLEASED to see that When He Calls your Name, my summer gothic novelette, made the Locus List! Congrats to all the other amazing works there!

Don't forget to vote in the poll for the Locus Awards! And hey, if you're nominating for the Nebulas, give it a read...

https://locusmag.com/2026/02/2025-recommended-reading/

New recipe up at Patreon!

This month: Vanilla-Hazelnut Zucchini Bread!

https://www.patreon.com/posts/149860014/

RE: @Catvalente@wandering.shop

I will be reading at this event in Beverly MA tomorrow night at 7!

Come one and all!

There is a large general strike in Portland, Maine today. One with some real energy & actual buy-in behind it.

So despite all the Patreon & Substack content I owe you being done, I figure the least I can do, as someone who kind of can, is join the strike & log off for today.

Solidarity forever.

New piece on ICE in Minnesota--and what they're doing in Maine when they think no one's looking.

https://catvalente.substack.com/p/the-good-the-pretty-and-fear-itself

https://www.patreon.com/posts/good-pretty-and-149352074

I know I’ve been quiet—I was away teaching & was going to have a bunch of new Things for you all this week but the Childe is home sick from school in advance of what we’re told is the Snow of All Snows so…I’ll be back with goodies Monday on the other side of 18 inches of winter.

Sorry!

Since I posted the This Is Why You Feel That Way essay yesterday, several people have messaged me to say that they understood why it was paywalled, but they were strongly affected and wished they could share it. So I've revised and expanded it a fair amount, and posted it for free on both Substack and Patreon so that it can be shared, in hopes that it *is* affecting, and it *can* help. https://www.patreon.com/posts/this-is-why-you-146225130 https://catvalente.substack.com/p/this-is-why-you-feel-that-way

Unburying the lede from my essay on why we all feel like numb frozen crap these days… https://catvalente.substack.com/p/this-is-why-you-feel-that-way

My 7 year old just reached for a piece of pizza fresh out of the oven and exclaimed, in the same tone as an adult swearing… “English *folklore*, that’s hot!” I choked laughing ENGLISH FOLKLORE AS A SWEAR? WHO ARE YOU?!?

I won this in a raffle prize basket. Allegedly, it’s “The Farting Farmer.” This farmer…is clearly dying of dysentery. While being drained of hope by a lich.

Calling LLMs AI when they’re not even in the ballpark is one of the greatest marketing “successes” of all time They’re not intelligent or even close. They’re Paywalled Premium Autocorrect. But people, including ones who run companies, have been hearing the phrase “AI” in pop culture for over 60 years. They hear it used for a product, assume it’s what the term has always meant, & proceed as though it’s fucking R. Daneel Olivaw without the annoying terms & conditions. https://spacey.space/@60sRefugee/115537404570803355