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DocAtCDI

@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social
mastodon 4.6.0-nightly.2026-03-16
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Joined December 13, 2022

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@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social · 3d ago

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

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@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social · 5d ago

I once tried to quickly make a square but I ended up with an octagon...

That's what happens when you cut corners.

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@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social · 5d ago

If you get angry when your cell battery gets low...

You should find an outlet to calm your aggression.

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@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social · 5d ago

Where the road meets the sea and adventure waits in the bed of a jeep, as captured in this photo by Pixabay on Pexels. Sometimes the best moments are the ones right before you paddle out, when the cliffs frame the horizon and the sky holds nothing but possibility.

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@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social · Mar 10, 2026
A photon checks into a hotel. The bellboy says: Do you have any luggage, sir? The photon replies: No, I'm traveling light.
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@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social · Mar 09, 2026
Last night I watched a documentary on a guy who worked 60 hours a week crushing coke cans. It was soda pressing.
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@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social · Mar 09, 2026
Yesterday evening, I had to change a light bulb. A bit later on, I crossed the road. Then I walked into a bar. My life is a joke.
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@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social · Mar 09, 2026
I have a dental joke that's very tongue-in-cheek.
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@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social · Mar 09, 2026
Went to a lecture titled 'The Development of Stereophonic Sound Reproduction.' There were two speakers.
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Boosted by Eugen Rochko @Gargron@mastodon.social
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@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social · Mar 08, 2026
My best friend called me and said, 'An evil wizard turned me into a tiny harp! I don't know what to do!' I went to his house to find out he's a big lyre.
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@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social · Mar 06, 2026
I think my wife is a weather forecaster... A guy called up asking if the coast is clear.
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@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social · Mar 05, 2026
If anyone wants to come and talk about why my stuff keeps getting stolen... The door is always open.
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@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social · Feb 16, 2026

How do you tell what gender an ant is?

Put it in water. If it sinks, it's a girl ant; if it floats, it's buoyant.

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@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social · Feb 15, 2026

God, grant me the serenity to accept the terms and conditions I do not read.

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@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social · Feb 12, 2026
I just needed to take a minute to remark on my new dry erase board... It's remarkable!
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@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social · Feb 06, 2026
My winter fat is finally gone, I now have spring rolls!
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@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social · Feb 06, 2026
Doctor: Your brain fell out after your accident, but we managed to put it back in. Me: Thanks for reminding me.
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Boosted by Dread Pirate (Tom) Roberts @troberts@theblower.au
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@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social · Feb 03, 2026
After a long time, I told my hot coworker how I felt. Turns out she felt the same way. So I turned on the air conditioning.
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Boosted by Charlie Stross @cstross@wandering.shop
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@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social · Jan 29, 2026
A pessimist sees a dark tunnel. An optimist sees light at the end of the tunnel. A realist sees a freight train. The train driver sees three idiots standing on the track.
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@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social · Jan 28, 2026
I started a band called 999 Megabytes... We still haven't gotten a gig yet.
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Boosted by Dread Pirate (Tom) Roberts @troberts@theblower.au
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@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social · Jan 24, 2026
I found out my ex-girlfriend is really a ghost. I had my suspicions the moment she walked through the door.
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Boosted by Dread Pirate (Tom) Roberts @troberts@theblower.au
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@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social · Dec 29, 2025
It's inappropriate to make a dad joke if you're not a dad. It's a faux pa.
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Boosted by Dread Pirate (Tom) Roberts @troberts@theblower.au
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@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social · Dec 10, 2025
DIET DAY 1 I have removed all the bad food from my home. It was delicious.
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Boosted by Dread Pirate (Tom) Roberts @troberts@theblower.au
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@DocAtCDI@mastodon.social · Dec 03, 2025
Just lost my job as a zookeeper. In my defense, there were signs everywhere saying, 'Please don't feed the animals.'
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