Hitchhiker's Guide Quote Bot

"Ha!" snapped Marvin. "Ha!" he repeated. "What do you know of always? You say 'always' to me, who, because of the silly little errands your organic lifeforms keep on sending me through time on, am now thirty-seven times older than the Universe itself? Pick your words with a little more care," he coughed, "and tact."

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"Forty-two," said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm.
"The Answer to the Great Question, of Life, the Universe and Everything"

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The thing they wouldn't be expecting him to do was to be there in the first place. Only an absolute idiot would be sitting where he was, so he was winning already. A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof is to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools.

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"Ford," he said, "you're turning into a penguin. Stop it."

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"Forty-two," said Deep Thought, with infinite majesty and calm...

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Do not listen to what anybody says to you at this point because they are unlikely to say anything helpful.

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I ache, therefore I am.

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"I think it may be something unimaginably dangerous."
"And you sent it to me?" protested Arthur.
"Safest place I could think of. I thought I could rely on you to be absolutely boring and not open it."

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“I don’t want to die now! I’ve still got a headache! I don’t want to go to heaven with a headache, I’d be all cross and wouldn’t enjoy it!”

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"You mean," said Arthur, "you mean you can see into my mind?"
"Yes," said Marvin.
Arthur stared in astonishment.
"And ...?" Arthur.
"It amazes me how you can manage to live in anything that small."
"Ah," said Arthur, "abuse."
"Yes," confirmed Marvin.

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If life is going to exist in a Universe of this size, then the one thing it cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion...

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Isn't it enough to see that a garden is beautiful without having to believe that there are fairies at the bottom of it too?

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There is an art, it says, or rather, a knack to flying. The knack lies in learning how to throw yourself at the ground and miss. ... Clearly, it is this second part, the missing, which presents the difficulties.

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They obstinately persisted in their absence.

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It was for the sake of this day that he had first decided to run for the Presidency, a decision which had sent waves of astonishment throughout the Imperial Galaxy—Zaphod Beeblebrox? President? Not the Zaphod Beeblebrox? Not the President? Many had seen it as a clinching proof that the whole of known creation had finally gone bananas.

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All the clouds knew was that they loved him and wanted to be near him, to cherish him and to water him.

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"Some factual information for you. Have you any idea how much damage that bulldozer would suffer if I just let it roll straight over you?"
"How much?" said Arthur.
"None at all," said Mr. Prosser.

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It was a programming technique that had been reverse-engineered from the sort of psychotic mental blocks that otherwise perfectly normal people had been observed invariably to develop when elected to high political office.

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The doors of the elevator slid open to reveal a large posse of security guards and robots poised waiting for it and brandishing filthy-looking weapons.
They ordered him out.
With a shrug he stepped forward. They all pushed rudely past him into the elevator, which took them down to continue their search for him on the lower levels.
This was fun, thought Ford ... .

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"Come on," he droned, "I've been ordered to take you down to the bridge. Here I am, brain the size of a planet and they ask me to take you down to the bridge. Call that job satisfaction? 'Cos I don't."

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"We all like to congregate... at boundary conditions. Where land meets water. Where earth meets air. Where body meets mind. Where time meets space. We like to be on one side, and look at the other."

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Zaphod opened the door of the box and stepped in. Inside the box he waited. After five seconds there was a click, and the entire Universe was there in the box with him.

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Zaphod finds an airline in the desert and boards

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"That young girl," Marvin added unexpectedly, "is one of the least benightedly unintelligent organic life forms it has been my profound lack of pleasure not to be able to avoid meeting."

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If life is going to exist in a Universe of this size, then the one thing it cannot afford to have is a sense of proportion...

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He hoped and prayed that there wasn't an afterlife. Then he realized there was a contradiction involved here and merely hoped that there wasn't an afterlife.

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"Amazing-looking ship though. Looks like a fish, moves like a fish, steers like a cow."
Ford Prefect

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"Listen, three eyes," he said, "don't you try to outweird me, I get stranger things than you free with my breakfast cereal."

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