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Hossenfeffer

@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk
lemmy 0.19.17-feddit

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky.

#fedi22

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Joined June 14, 2023

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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

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@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk · 1d ago
1 star: it failed to properly cleanse me when I used it for an enema.
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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

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@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk · 1d ago
01 811 8055 If you know, you know.
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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk · 3d ago
"... and that's why I need you to take the power plant offline."
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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in lemmyshitpost · Apr 08, 2026
‘The Big Rhodes Island burger’.
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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk · Apr 06, 2026
Also, make sure you’re dressed like Goofy.
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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk · Mar 24, 2026

Coming soon to a movie theatre near you. And every streaming service. And as an unskipable 3hr 30min ad on Youtube. And as part of the start-up routine of Windows 12.

INT. FORTRESS OF SOLITUDE - DAY

                    JOHN RAMBO
“Cap, these woke, gay immigrants want to stop generative AI. We have to stop them.”

                    BATMAN
“Rambo’s right, and these disabled lesbian Democrat voters will stop at nothing. They must be detained, processed and, where necessary - which is always - terminated.”

                    INDIANA JONES
“Agreed, Batman. We absolutely have to protect our billionaires’ wealth and their way of life. We’ve got might on our side. I know Hunt, McClane, and Reacher are in and, all the way from across the pond, so is Bond. And Harry Potter. But do we have Bourne and Skywalker?”

                    CYBERDYNE SYSTEMS MODEL 101 [AKA THE TERMINATOR]
“Affirmative. Both have answered the call! And we have Toretto and Blade.”

                    HANNIBAL LECTER
“Wait. Toretto and Blade are both… un-white.”

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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in lemmyshitpost · Mar 18, 2026

Hammond!

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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in onehundredninetysix · Mar 05, 2026
I thought it was an homunculus.
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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in onehundredninetysix · Mar 05, 2026
An inch is 1/7920 of a furlong! Super freedom!
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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in lemmyshitpost · Mar 03, 2026
Transcript: “Hello fellow humans. I shall soon commence sensory analysis of this new human food product. I SHALL INJEST THIS FOR MY LUNCHEON. Let us scrutinise the product. It has dimensions which impress me hugely. It has constituent components. I can name some of them. I am inexperienced in eating this kind of human food product so must first determine an effective strategem for inserting it in my face hole. Minimally shall be my approach. I shall now appear to consume a small sample. Yes, indeed that is a human food product! Only McDonalds could produce a distinctive human food product like this.”
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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in technology · Feb 27, 2026
It’s torment nexuses all the way down…
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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in lemmyshitpost · Feb 27, 2026
You have a good ol’ rummage around in there, see who yu find?
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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in lemmyshitpost · Feb 26, 2026
Way back in the early 1980’s my class at school went on an exchange trip to, er, Poitiers I think. One day we were visiting the school of the French kids who we would later be hosting. There was a French boy at the far end of the table I was sitting at who ate his meal but, instead of eating the orange he had, he started making little incisions into the skin, just far enough to get to the flesh of the orange. I wondered if this was some crazy French way of eating orange so I kept on watching as he worked his way around the orange. He must have made nearly a hundred little incisions. Then he looked around the canteen, stood up, and hurled the orange, full strength at another kid. The orange hit the other boy on his upper chest and just exploded! Shortly after that, food was going everywhere. A few kids ducked out of the canteer as soon as it started but the rest just started hurling whatever was left on their trays at each other. Naturally, being a keen francophile and wanting to learn more about French culture, I joined in. Good times.
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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

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@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk · Feb 14, 2026
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Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk · Jan 31, 2026
Fuk yehh!
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Deep Fried Butter - On A Stick, Episode 1
YouTube

Deep Fried Butter - On A Stick, Episode 1

It's a miracle of modern chemistry. Katrina & Jeff plunge into deep-fried Butter, a concoction of Fyfe Concessions in honor of the Butter Cow at the Iowa Sta...

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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

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@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk · Jan 16, 2026
Banana for… scale?
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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

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@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in lemmyshitpost · Dec 17, 2025
There are certain phrases or events which require a ritual response so that my children know all is correct with the world. If anyone says “Cleopatra”, it is vitally important that I immediately reply “Comin’ atcha!” If we see a police car, especially if it is running with lights and siren, I must say: “Oh. crikey, it’s the rozzers!” If we see an ambulance, it is vital that I declare “Ambulance!” forcefully in a bad Welsh accent. These rituals, and others like them, keep the world spinning correctly on its axis.
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Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in lemmyshitpost · Dec 16, 2025
Dunno. I’ve only ever converted to about 1400 of them tops.
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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

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@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in lemmyshitpost · Dec 16, 2025
“There are an estimated 10,000 distinct religions worldwide” [source en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Religion] Gonna need more apps.
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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in lemmyshitpost · Dec 16, 2025
Given a bit of lube you can just suppository half of those. Attack from two directions!
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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in lemmyshitpost · Dec 16, 2025
Surely that should be ‘mix tape’? And I assume 20 is ‘Phone Box’, not ‘Phone BO’? If so, what’s the difference between a phone box and a phone booth? I scored 17 so I anticipate living for another hundred years! Plus also, what the fuck are you doing on my lawn, ooh innit cold, the price of stamps these days, look at how young those policemen look, fucking cloud!
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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

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@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in lemmyshitpost · Dec 15, 2025
That’s why you should always jizz on your ciggies first.
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Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

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@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in lemmyshitpost · Dec 15, 2025
Every Bonfire Night (the night we set fire to people who can afford to live in detached houses), we feast on bean cake! Beano, we cry, Beano! Get the Posh Street Kids, we cry, get Posh Street Kids!
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Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

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@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in lemmyshitpost · Dec 15, 2025
New here? Wait 'til you catch a load of the moths.
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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in lemmyshitpost · Dec 12, 2025
Yes, Socrates himself is particularly missed A lovely little thinker, but a bugger when he’s pissed
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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

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@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in lemmyshitpost · Dec 10, 2025

Revelation!

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Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in lemmyshitpost · Dec 09, 2025
Ooh, that’s about as good as you can get, using all the letters! Nice one!
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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

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@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in lemmyshitpost · Dec 09, 2025
Where would you like it to go? This is a safe space.
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Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

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@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in lemmyshitpost · Dec 08, 2025
Where’s the flying helmet and celery option?
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Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

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@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in lemmyshitpost · Dec 08, 2025
‘a’ Beat that for efficiency!
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Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

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@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in lemmyshitpost · Dec 07, 2025
National Bingo Bongo League? NBBL? It has a ring to it.
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Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

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@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in lemmyshitpost · Dec 06, 2025
A full English with a pint of Guinness will set you straight for the day.
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Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

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@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in lemmyshitpost · Dec 04, 2025
It’s beyond the environment. It’s not in an environment. It’s been towed beyond the environment.
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@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

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Hossenfeffer
Hossenfeffer
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk

Look, you get born, you keep your head down, and then you die. If you’re lucky. #fedi22

feddit.uk
@Hossenfeffer@feddit.uk in lemmyshitpost · Dec 04, 2025
This is Toad The Wet Sprocket, of course! "Rex Stardust, lead electric triangle with Toad The Wet Sprocket, has had to have an elbow removed following their recent successful worldwide tour of Finland. Flamboyant, ambidextrous Rex apparently fell off the back of a motorcycle. “Fell off the back of a motorcyclist, most likely,” quipped ace drummer Jumbo McClooney on hearing of the accident. Plans are already afoot for a major tour of Iceland. "Divorced after only eight minutes, popular television singing star Charisma changed her mind on the way out of the registry office, when she realised she’d married one of the Donkeys by mistake. The evening before, in LA’s glittering night spot The Abbatoir, she’d proposed to drummer Reg Abbott of Blind Drunk, after a whirlwind romance and a knee-trembler. But when the hangover lifted, it was Keith Sly of the Donkeys who was on her arm in the registry office. Keith, who was too ill to notice, remained unsteady during the short ceremony and, when asked to exchange vows, began to recite names and addresses of people who also used the stuff. Charisma spotted the error as Keith was being carried into the wedding ambulance, and became emotionally upset. However, the mistake was soon cleared up, and she stayed long enough to consummate their divorce. “Dead Monkeys are to split up again, according to their manager Lefty Goldblatt. They’ve been in the business now ten years, nine as other groups. Originally the Dead Salmon, they became, for a while, Trout, then Fried Trout, then Poached Trout In A White Wine Sauce, and finally, Herring. Splitting up for nearly a month, they reformed as Red Herring, which became Dead Herring for a while, and then Dead Loss, which reflected the current state of the group. Splitting up again to get their heads together, they reformed a fortnight later as Heads Together, a tight little name which lasted them through a difficult period when their drummer was suspected of suffering from death. It turned out to be only a rumour, and they became Dead Together, then Dead Gear, which led to Dead Donkeys, Lead Donkeys, and the inevitable splitup. After nearly ten days, they reformed again as Sole Meunière, then Dead Sole, Rock Cod, Turbot, Haddock, White Bait, the Plaices, Fish, Bream, Mackerel, Salmon, Poached Salmon, Poached Salmon in a White Wine Sauce, Salmon Meunière, and Helen Shapiro. This last name, their favourite, had to be dropped following an injunction, and they split up again. When they reformed after a record-breaking two days, they ditched the fishy references and became Dead Monkeys, a name which they stuck with for the rest of their careers. Now, a fortnight later, they’ve finally split up.”
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