All those posts will be lost in the timeline, like tears in rain. Time to die.
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
mastodon
4.4.14
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST.
Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo.
Former sketch/improv person. I love #Taskmaster, #OnePunchMan, and #Boundless (the endurance race show).
Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole.
I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers.
Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married)
#humor
#humour
#comedy
#jokes
#dadjokes
#puns
#writing
#improv
#standup
#fedi22
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0
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Joined March 19, 2023
Just My Toots:
Alt Text: Avatar:
Big Foot but kind of handsome in a hairy way
Alt Text: Header:
Scene from Attack All Monsters with Godzilla and a Monster Battle Royale!
My Biggest Winners:
Posts
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
@LoganFive@beige.party
·
2d ago
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Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
@LoganFive@beige.party
·
4d ago
What’s the strangest thread you ever got carried along on? I’m talking about where you are included in a conversation, but it has nothing to do with your post anymore or your comment.
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Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
@LoganFive@beige.party
·
Mar 07, 2026
Why isn’t daylight savings on a Monday at 4pm?
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Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
@LoganFive@beige.party
·
Mar 07, 2026
Which country are you tooting from? (And city if you feel like it.)
And what is your favorite breakfast?
Please boost for a wider audience.
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Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
@LoganFive@beige.party
·
Mar 05, 2026
Hi, how are you? Nice to meet you.
So…what does your soul ache for?
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Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
@LoganFive@beige.party
·
Mar 01, 2026
You can close those tabs now. You’re never going to use them.
View on beige.party
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Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
@LoganFive@beige.party
·
Mar 01, 2026
Oh, you didn't boost my post I see.
*swirls glass of wine in his hand*
Maybe you just didn't see my post. Right? That must be what happened.
I mean we wouldn't want anything...unfortunate...to happen, from a simple mistake, right?
*Gives the stare of a gangster, but like a really tired and out of shape gangster. Also a gangster that looks kind of like he'd give you a hug if you needed it.*
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Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
@LoganFive@beige.party
·
Mar 01, 2026
I think we need a "Not Trending" icon so we can see all the posts looking for love and attention.
View on beige.party
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Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
@LoganFive@beige.party
·
Feb 26, 2026
I just don’t want work to be a battleground. I don’t feel like that’s too much to ask. I’m too tired and beat down for that shit.
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Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
@LoganFive@beige.party
·
Feb 26, 2026
Perhaps Skeletor would be scarier if he wasn’t riding on the Pink Panther.
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Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
@LoganFive@beige.party
·
Feb 21, 2026
Me: “I’m fine. I’m completely fine.”
Also Me: *cries while watching He-Man*
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Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
@LoganFive@beige.party
·
Feb 18, 2026
Me: Before you agree to a challenge, ALWAYS ask if it’s to the death. Always. You can’t assume shit.
My 6 yo nephew: But it’s checkers.
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Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
@LoganFive@beige.party
·
Feb 14, 2026
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Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
@LoganFive@beige.party
·
Feb 11, 2026
The Fediverse isn’t a bus that you just sit and ride on. The Fediverse is a rowing barge where we all together, collectively, keep it moving forward.
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Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
@LoganFive@beige.party
·
Feb 05, 2026
Let this be our final battle!*
*Me, talking to my alarm clock in the morning
View on beige.party
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Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
@LoganFive@beige.party
·
Jan 31, 2026
Who exactly are the “Masters of the Universe,” He-Man? Is that your book club?
View on beige.party
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Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
@LoganFive@beige.party
·
Jan 30, 2026
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Thread context
2 posts in path
Parent
@Gargron@mastodon.social
Open
@Gargron@mastodon.social
Today I am stepping down from my role as the CEO of #Mastodon. Though this has been in the works for a while, I can't say I've fully processed how I feel about it. There is a bittersweet part to it, a
Current reply
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
@LoganFive@beige.party
·
Nov 18, 2025
@Gargron@mastodon.social Thank you for everything you’ve done to create a community not spoiled by ads, algorithms, or billionaires.
View full thread on beige.party
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Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
@LoganFive@beige.party
·
Nov 12, 2025
@gregthemiller@beige.party “Go big or go home” sounds like someone choosing between Tom Hanks in Big or Macaulay Culkin in Home Alone.
View on beige.party
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Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
@LoganFive@beige.party
·
Nov 09, 2025
For all the new people who have arrived, here's a tool you might enjoy, the Mastodon/Fediverse Circle Creator. It does an analysis of the people who interact with you the most and then gives you a list of the top 50 of them.
https://circle.grasserisen.de
And then you can go and question the rest about why they don't seem to care about your wellbeing.
View on beige.party
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Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
@LoganFive@beige.party
·
Nov 06, 2025
"Why did you sting me?" cried the frog to the scorpion, both slowly drowning. "I will die now but so will you."
And the scorpion said, "Fuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck!"
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Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
@LoganFive@beige.party
·
May 30, 2024
I thought the sign read
“Haiku Club” not “Hiking Club.”
We walked for hours. Hours.
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Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
@LoganFive@beige.party
·
Oct 07, 2023
Let’s settle this with a nap off! Best nap wins!
*aggressively puts on Peruvian flute music*
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Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
Logan Five Thousand
@LoganFive@beige.party
I'm funny on Thursdays between 2pm and 5pm PST. Sometimes I pretend I’m Mark Ruffalo. Former sketch/improv person. I love # Taskmaster , # OnePunchMan , and # Boundless (the endurance race show). Pro LGBTQIA+, BLM, anything that involves not being an a-hole. I often toot late so select the notification bell if you don’t want to miss any of the 2am zingers. Pronouns: he/him/his (cis-het, married) # humor # humour # comedy # jokes # dadjokes # puns # writing # improv # standup # fedi22
beige.party
@LoganFive@beige.party
·
Apr 03, 2023
You’re either with me, or against me, or completely indifferent to my situation.
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