John Wiswell

America, come on, it's a little on the nose to have DST steal an hour from everyone's morning and thus make International Women's Day the shortest day of the year.

They say lightning never strikes the same place twice. They’re liars. Earth is a place and it’s been hit by lightning at least eleven times, maybe even more, I have to check.

My new Marxist Pop band, Bourgeoisie and the Pussy Cats.

Good news: my dragon is now on Netgalley!

It’s a different sort of dragon rider novel: one from the dragon’s POV. He’s just here for the free food, he swears.

If you are an ARC-ish sort, there is a Read Now window open through Friday. https://www.netgalley.com/catalog/book/804977

Story acceptance! "Congratulations on your Magic Sword (TM)" will appear in Lightspeed Magazine later this year.

It's a short told through advice the great smiths etched onto the blade of your new magic sword--advice that only appears if you're messing up and angering the weapon.

Before you are two doors. Behind one is limitless wealth, and behind the other is a tiger. This is a conundrum because you fucking love petting tigers.

what genius called her Black Widow instead of Spyder

Nothing spices up an evening quite like fixing a busted, wildly spraying toilet with the lads.

Twist endings are overrated. Give me twist beginnings. End Act 1 with a twist and then explore the consequences. Let the great surprise be your premise.

It worked for The Girl With All The Gifts. It worked for Project Hail Mary. It can work for you.

Thanks for all the messages of concern about my health. I'm resting offline a lot right now.

But I'm popping on just long enough to say that much like Jason Voorhees, I refuse to die and will come back.

I don't ask for much, but Tom Brady having to say "Super Bowl MVP Sam Darnold" would heal my wounds.

Well, this short story idea won't leave me alone. I might have to write it.

Do not cite the Deep Magic to me, Witch. I just finished the line edits on it and if I see it again I'll meltdown like a toddler whose ice cream fell off the cone.

“Kill the part of you that cringes.” Why are you trying to kill my shoulders???

Copy editors have a very important job: to unceasingly remind me that I will never know the difference between "toward" and "towards."

Fighting especially hard with my lungs today, so I'm acutely reminded how much respiratory disability is used to code evil and monstrosity. I don't think I've ever heard a single sympathetic character in movie history make the noises the bronchitis has me making right now.

Me: Ugh, bottom feeders.
Friend: They’re just called “tops.”

"Let that sink in." No, I will not. I have too many sinks. There isn't room to let more sinks in.