::: spoiler Probably not close enough to the real thing to be considered NSFW but I’ll err on the side of making it an opt-in experience.
~I’ve~ ~seen~ ~more~ ~titillating~ ~cow~ ~skulls~ ~though.~
:::
Posts
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
·
2d ago
5
0
0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
·
2d ago
Try a little circumlocution, see if you can get her to arrive at the point.
View full thread on lemmy.world
7
0
0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
·
2d ago
I've always wanted a hemorrhoid pillow with improved Magnus effect lift.
View full thread on lemmy.world
8
0
0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
·
2d ago
I'm trying to figure out a joke that hinges on the idea of using one as a place to practice drawing letters and the other for writing words but I'm not enough of a cunning linguist.
View full thread on lemmy.world
21
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0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
·
3d ago
3D print a time-traveling Tylenol into your pregnant mother's mouth.
View full thread on lemmy.world
17
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0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
·
4d ago
Won't make the same mistake twice.
View full thread on lemmy.world
4
0
0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
·
4d ago
According to The Book of Saint Albans, that’s known as a douche of Brads.
29
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betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
·
5d ago
Or tampon roulette: individually wrapped and bagged in sets of 6 but one has a capsaicin-saturated core. Maybe get a few friends with synced cycles so everybody draws one and waits to see who [won / lost].
View full thread on lemmy.world
6
1
0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
·
Apr 10, 2026
Never trust a fart while dry-boofing.
View full thread on lemmy.world
0
0
0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
in
lemmyshitpost
·
Apr 09, 2026
The police officer’s taxpayers’ weapon
View full thread on lemmy.world
46
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0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
·
Apr 09, 2026
Leak them on the War Thunder forums, maybe Chinese tanks will get buffed next patch.
View full thread on lemmy.world
43
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0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
in
lemmyshitpost
·
Apr 04, 2026
Foamy scissors.
View full thread on lemmy.world
0
0
0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
in
lemmyshitpost
·
Mar 31, 2026
Is the cross between Bigfoot and the Giant Squid a Bigsquid or Giant Foot?
View full thread on lemmy.world
0
0
0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
in
lemmyshitpost
·
Mar 27, 2026
I think they’re great the way they are but maybe somebody will remake Total Recall again with her as Mary.
View full thread on lemmy.world
0
0
0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
in
lemmyshitpost
·
Mar 19, 2026
They’re a bunch of Hormuzphobes.
View full thread on lemmy.world
0
0
0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
in
lemmyshitpost
·
Mar 11, 2026
There was already a bunch of art focused on his son around that time so the ninja turtle guy chose to show us the moon.
View full thread on lemmy.world
0
0
0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
in
lemmyshitpost
·
Feb 27, 2026
Unbayleafable.
View full thread on lemmy.world
0
0
0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
·
Feb 24, 2026
Where there's a drill, there's a way. Build the future you want to live in.
View full thread on lemmy.world
9
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0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
in
lemmyshitpost
·
Feb 23, 2026
Working title that they forgot to change until too late in the production.
View full thread on lemmy.world
0
0
0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
in
lemmyshitpost
·
Feb 23, 2026
All of his maneuvers are Pitt maneuvers and if one turns out poorly, he’s been hoisted by his own Pitt-ard.
View full thread on lemmy.world
0
0
0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
in
lemmyshitpost
·
Feb 23, 2026
Over at the 'Bate & Tackle Fishmongery? Heard they make good coleslaw.
View full thread on lemmy.world
0
2
0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
in
lemmyshitpost
·
Feb 23, 2026
The only F1 I’m really familiar with brings up a help window most of the time but if nobody referred to his team of mechanics as the Pitt crew, that’s a golden opportunity missed.
View full thread on lemmy.world
0
2
0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
in
lemmyshitpost
·
Feb 23, 2026
The sooner they start living off the land, the better. And by that, I mean “swimming”. Lash a bunch of them together to form an ICEberg.
View full thread on lemmy.world
0
0
0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
in
lemmyshitpost
·
Feb 23, 2026
It’s that or the shirt with a syrup spot that’s always at least a little sticky no matter how many times you wash it (and somehow never in the same exact place so don’t bother trying to get used to it). Rather back-stroke my way through a mile of tangled concertina wire.
View full thread on lemmy.world
7
0
0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
·
Feb 14, 2026
I’ve seen this one before.
28
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betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
·
Feb 07, 2026
There's obviously no need for durable footwear when your whole country is a boot.
View full thread on lemmy.world
39
0
0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
·
Jan 31, 2026
This plus a cron job, problem solved.
15
1
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betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
·
Jan 23, 2026
Can be as bad as one.
View full thread on lemmy.world
2
0
0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
·
Jan 18, 2026
The advertisers might get upset if it's stated that plainly.
View full thread on lemmy.world
4
0
0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
·
Jan 14, 2026
0
0
0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
·
Dec 31, 2025
3
0
0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
in
lemmyshitpost
·
Dec 17, 2025
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician? They worked it out with a pencil.
View full thread on lemmy.world
0
0
0
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
betterdeadthanreddit
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
An early bird in the hand gets the low hanging fruit in the bush.
lemmy.world
@betterdeadthanreddit@lemmy.world
in
lemmyshitpost
·
Dec 12, 2025
0
0
0