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donni saphire

@donni@mastodon.social
mastodon 4.6.0-nightly.2026-03-16

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

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Joined August 16, 2018
Proof I’m Me!:
https://twittodon.com/share.php?t=donni&m=donni@mastodon.social
Pure Toots:
https://justmytoots.com/donni@mastodon.social

Posts

donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · 5d ago
Life is a series of sandwiches, sometimes interrupted by non-sandwich things like anxiety and war
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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · 6d ago

Remember when we used to get a brief interlude between the last bad thing and the next bad thing

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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Mar 09, 2026

All I ever wanted was to live a quiet life, nude in a treehouse, eating potato salad

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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Mar 08, 2026

It’s hard to enjoy nice things right now, due to the other things

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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Mar 07, 2026

The ever-increasing global chaos and turmoil makes it difficult to focus on my personal chaos and turmoil

View on mastodon.social
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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Mar 06, 2026

Someday I’ll be the cute little old man who knows every duck in the park

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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Mar 04, 2026

Someday we’ll look back on this time and laugh and cry and hide from the roving bands of mutant mice

View on mastodon.social
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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Mar 03, 2026

Bravely living through one historic event after another and learning nothing

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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Mar 01, 2026
That’s enough unending horrors for one day. Gotta recharge for fresh new horrors tomorrow
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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Mar 01, 2026

We’re all just very old toddlers and we’re doing our best

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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Feb 28, 2026
Everyone needs a few months off, or a few years. Hell, the rest of our lives
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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Feb 27, 2026
For security purposes, you will be crushed into a tiny cube and thrown in the sea
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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Feb 25, 2026

Life was simpler when you just gathered figs and ran from hungry bears, holding your figs

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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Feb 23, 2026

Be kind to yourself, first ironically, but then unironically

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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Feb 22, 2026
Who cares what humans think of you if several cats like you
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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Feb 21, 2026

I’ve had anxiety since before it was cool. And it’s not cool and it was never cool

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Boosted by Citizen ❎️❎️ @AnnonBudgie@theblower.au
donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Feb 20, 2026
You have to learn to love yourself despite knowing way too much about yourself
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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Feb 16, 2026

I hope someday me and my brain can be friends

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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Feb 13, 2026
Personally, I do not love all the constant terrible bullshit everywhere
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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Feb 11, 2026

Trying to maintain positive vibes amid the horror and chaos by simply imagining a cooler society

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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Feb 11, 2026

I just hope you're all secretly in love with me or what's the point of being this adorable

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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Feb 10, 2026

What a time to be alive, grimly determined to enjoy the feeble freedoms still available for now

View on mastodon.social
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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Feb 10, 2026

76 trombones is way too many trombones for me. I’ll never need more than 5

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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Feb 09, 2026

Just took a moment to quietly reflect. It was the worst. Never again

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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Feb 08, 2026

Every night before bed I do this cute little thing where I scroll for roughly 7 hours

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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Feb 07, 2026

If you’re not supposed to lie on the floor for hours, why does gravity exist

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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Feb 06, 2026
It seems unlikely I’m responsible for my own actions. Looking into who is responsible, and hope to know more soon
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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Feb 02, 2026
We’re just doing our best as traumatized witnesses to daily new horrors who also need to work and stuff
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Boosted by Dread Pirate (Tom) Roberts @troberts@theblower.au
donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Feb 01, 2026
To be honest, I would rather live in a less stupid and evil time, if possible
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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Jan 31, 2026

Everything happens for a reason. Usually a stupid reason. But sometimes also evil

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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Jan 14, 2026

Even when they get away with their shit they’re still angry and miserable

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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Jan 13, 2026

In many cultures, the collapse of civilization is considered a bad omen

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Boosted by Eugen Rochko @Gargron@mastodon.social
donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Dec 17, 2025
Tomorrow is another day to keep doing your best while cartoonish villains destroy society in every direction
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donni
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
donni saphire
donni saphire
@donni@mastodon.social

Chicago comedian in real life, Internet poster in posting. Proudly hatless. Suspicious of most squirrels. Only wrestles sea cows seasonally

mastodon.social
@donni@mastodon.social · Oct 26, 2024

A new study has found that nobody is currently OK

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