leon

i just remembered my password to this thing

LEON: Here.

(LEON passes the VAPE PEN to BARBARA WALTERS, who takes a BIG HIT)

LEON: I'll most likely just make a long shitpost to cement my status on Mastodon. I think it'll help them out. A small dose of irony in a pre-irony phase. I'll probably ape the dialogue format from Homer Marijuana, but use some other well known TV show.

WALTERS: Man I'm so high on that good shit I don't understand a word you're saying.

LEON: Ha ha Barbara. You're a hoot. Thanks for having me on 60 Minutes.

[END]

WALTERS: So what do you plan on doing on Mastodon?

LEON: For now, nothing. I'll wait to see how it develops. It doesn't make sense to just cross post what I do on Twitter on here too. Everyone who follows me on Mastodon ostensibly follows me on Twitter.

(BARBARA WALTERS MOTIONS for the VAPE PEN again)

LEON: You're really fiending hard today.

WALTERS: I'm old, Leon. I deserve to have a little fun.

LEON: Hold on, let me refill it.

(LEON REFILLS the VAPE PEN with MORE KUSH)

LEON: Thanks. So right now everyone is posting really technical stuff about instances, and about how to navigate the product, that it's hard for any real content to develop, at least naturally.

WALTERS: Isn't that a self-defeating prophecy? How can it get past this pre-irony phase?

LEON: I'm not really sure! It's something that no new social network has overcome without bringing something fresh to the table.

WALTERS: You need a large dose of irony to set things off.

LEON: Maybe. Maybe not.

LEON: From what I can tell, my posts on here get sent out into the ether of some "Federated timeline". Even if you took the time and effort to write some longform shitpost, it's wasted in the early pre-irony phase. Pass that shit back.

(BARBARA WALTERS takes a LONG, ASS, HIT from the VAPE PEN. She CLOSES HER EYES and SIGHS CONTENTEDLY)

WALTERS: It's been so long since I've gotten this high.

LEON: You're telling me.

WALTERS: Here.

(BARABARA WALTERS passes back the VAPE PEN)

LEON: Hold on. I need to get high for this next part.

(LEON pulls a VAPE PEN from his POCKET and HITS IT)

LEON: Do you want some? It's Girl Scout Kush.

WALTERS: Yeah, pass it over.

(BARBARA WALTERS takes the VAPE PEN and also HITS IT)

WALTERS: That's some good shit. Anyways, you were saying.

LEON: Yes, I was saying. Even for a power user like me, I'm in a pre-irony phase. I'm new to the service. My first post was "Hey everyone."

WALTERS: We all have to start somewhere.

WALTERS: Ah yes, I remember Homer Marijuana. Incredible saga, one for the books for sure. Do you think irony has a place on Mastodon?

LEON: We're in a pre-irony period. Everyone is new to the product. The global timeline is fleeting, and has the familiar rush of a new public network. The first wave will mainly be tech adjacent people, who are almost devoid of irony. Plus, it's too early for anyone to build up a large following.

WALTERS: How so?

LEON: It seems to be an alternative to Twitter. But why use it? What's the draw? We all saw what happened with Peach. Remember Ello? No one remembers Ello.

WALTERS: And how do you think your personal brand translates to Mastodon?

LEON: Hell, I don't know. It's too early to tell. The longer character limit lets me produce longer shitposts. The dialogue format, spearheaded on Twitter by users like dwayne and his "Homer Marijuana" project, could have incredible potential.

[60 MINUTES ON CBS, 4/4/2017]

BARBARA WALTERS: I'm here with Leon, a power Twitter user who has recently opened an account on Mastodon. Leon, how are you?

LEON: I'm good, Barbara. A little cranky, but good.

WALTERS: Now why is that?

LEON: A few things. I'm unsure about the viability of a new social network in today's climate. I wasn't able to sign up on the main instance. The hot peppers in my lunch sandwich are causing indigestion.

WALTERS: Interesting. Tell me more about Mastodon.

Hey everyone