Lisa

Yet another update since it's now exactly three months after my va-jay-jay surgery. Quite the milestone and I'm almost shocked it's already here.

Overall, I'm healing well. I do have some occasional and minor granulation issues, but my surgeon told me to not worry about that. Along with not worrying about the tiny fluid discharge every day. Which, I'm told, will likely persist during the first year. What fun. Guess I'll keep buying stock in maxi pad manufacturers.

I've been using silicone scar tape and gel for my various surgery "seams" and "punctures" for the last month. They're an absolute nuisance to apply and maintain, but I hope to reap the benefits eventually. We'll see how well they work on this old body in another five or six months.

The good news is that I can now finally wear ordinary-sized panties and my fave skinny jeans again. And there was much rejoicing!

I can also now sit completely upright for extended periods of time. And occasionally without my ever-present waffle cushion. As long as the chair is comfy enough anyway.

Dilation three times a day has been a real drag. Not gonna lie, that's easily the most annoying aspect of this type of surgery. But I keep making steady progress. And now... (drumroll, please...) ...I'M ON THE BIG ORANGE!! (Trans girl aficionados of Soul Source products will know what I mean.)

But I'm not yet flying soloing with the Big Orange (at a 4.7 inch circumference) since I still have to start with Big Green (at 4.3 inches). Hopefully, I'll get my pilot license in another week or so. which means that I won't have to do this shit three times a day anymore!!

So much of post-surgery life has been punctuated by and scheduled around dilation that even having to do it twice a day will be a huge relief. Eventually, of course, I'll be able to reduce that frequency even more. But my surgeon has been cautiously strict about all this. Dammit.

Anyway, I love you all and hope you don't mind me hiding away from social media lately. I'm finding it difficult to curate the news, much less read it, right now. I'm not sure how long this hiatus will last, but I'm valuing my mental and emotional health over being known as the "boosting girl."

Much love, 🤗🥰💖
Lisa

@slothrop@chaos.social Awwww, thank you so much. I'm glad to be here with all of you. 🤗🥰💖

@LeoR1010@mastodonsweden.se Thank you, sir! 🤗🥰💖

@whakkee@appdot.net Thank you, sweetie! The recovery is going well, just slowly. 🥰💖

Three years ago today, I finally admitted to myself that I'm transgender. That seems both so long ago and so recent.

I do remember sobbing that night realizing that I didn't want to take "her" to my grave. I didn't want to die an old... man. And I knew that everything in my life was about to change. And I was afraid.

That' same night I created this second smaller account on Mastodon. To start living as Lisa. To admit, even anonymously, what my true heart's desire really was.

A week later, I crossed the Rubicon and came out to my then wife. I wasn't afraid anymore, even though everything did change. I was relieved. I was elated!

I regret a lot of things in my life. But not being trans. Even in the current political climate and with the danger that's always nearby. There's existential dread and then there's existential dread. Yeah, ya kinda have to be trans to understand that.

If there's anyone reading this that's struggling like I was three years ago, please know that there are plenty of potential new siblings out here to help you. Reach out when you're ready to embrace who you truly are. You're not alone.

Love,
Lisa