Mine is porn addiction. I don't ever want to become a coomer but I think I've became that already a few times in my life. I shamefully have watched porn, saved porn images and visualized people who're probably not as into porn as I was. I really do wish to be done with porn, it's done nothing for me. I've masturbated for many years and I feel like it has hollowed out my mind. I don't even get that much enjoyment from masturbating as much and the porn hasn't really gotten any better so I guess I can say that I've seen porn when it was at its best when I was younger and everything. Now all of it is just loli shit, artificial shit and that's gross or the fetishes have gotten too niche and unappealing. I look around me in porn communities and I haven't found anyone worthwhile to speak to or associate with. Everyone is six feet under in porn that there's no way for them out.

Sugar. I’m prediabetic and this shit is everywhere. I know, medically, what I need to do: significantly cut back for 6-9 months until the insulin-resistant blood cells are replaced by normal ones, and start doing HIIT exercises to move that closer to 6 than 9. But like, doing anything consistently for 6 months is a challenge for me, much less avoiding something that gives me the happy brain chemicals.

She said ‘This was why I couldn’t get off and stay off. Just as the cliché warns. I literally wasn’t keeping it in the day. I was adding the clean days up in my head.’ She cocked her head at him. ‘Did you ever hear of this fellow Evel Knievel? This motorcycle-jumper?’ Gately nods slightly, being careful of a tube he now feels. This is why his throat had had that raped feeling in it. The tube. He actually has an old cutout action picture of the historical Evel Knievel, from an old Life magazine, in a white leather Elvisish suit, in the air, aloft, haloed in spotlights, upright on a bike, a row of well-waxed trucks below. ‘At St. Collie only the Crocodiles’d heard of him. My own Daddy’d followed him, cut out pictures, as a boy.’ Gately can tell she’s smiling under there. ‘But what I used to do, I’d throw away the pipe and shake my fist at the sky and say As God is my fucking witness NEVER AGAIN, as of this minute right here I QUIT FOR ALL TIME.’ She also has this habit of absently patting the top of her head when she talks, where little barrettes and spongy clamps hold the veil in place. ‘And I’d bunker up all white-knuckled and stay straight. And count the days. I was proud of each day I stayed off. Each day seemed evidence of something, and I counted them. I’d add them up. Line them up end to end. You know?’ Gately knows very well but doesn’t nod, lets her do this on just her own steam. She says ‘And soon it would get… improbable. As if each day was a car Knievel had to clear. One car, two cars. By the time I’d get up to say like maybe about 14 cars, it would begin to seem like this staggering number. Jumping over 14 cars. And the rest of the year, looking ahead, hundreds and hundreds of cars, me in the air trying to clear them.’ She left her head alone and cocked it. ‘Who could do it? How did I ever think anyone could do it that way?’ -Infinite Jest