Apathy Tree

Yeah, thats exactly what i want to avoid, things that are good enough that even without being addictive, i want them. I wont even grow poppies for poppy tea because I’m afraid i will become low-grade addicted to it as a result of simply not being in constant pain for a change (fucked up thing to consider, but true as someone with chronic pain). My mom made me promise to keep her oxy after she passed because it was much harder for me to get pain treatment than it should be, but it just made me throw up (same it did to her, but we assumed it was the cancer), so i gave it to a friend who needed it. I know myself and i -really- like escape. It used to be books, as a kid, but now its all sorts of things. Because i can. Mostly i want things with low addiction (physical or psychological) risk, ideally also somewhat beneficial, and no or very low chance of bad experience, because my brain does that anyway. Also kinda has to be fairly easy to get without a shady middle-man, because i don’t know people and buying shit on tor isn’t appealing to me at all. The hardest thing I’ve done was extacy cut with meth, and i listened to my druggy ex and boofed it (our slang for bum-hole administration, tho i learned later i should have shoved it in my vagina instead, thats way way better for drug absorption due to the sheer quantity of blood vessels and the moist environment, to the point that it used to he a common medical application in hospital). Honestly, i loved it, and would exist that way forever if i could. And thats the problem. I’m glad i don’t have easy access to it now. Id like to use it again in controlled therapy settings, as long as they’ve got some good beats and highlighters on hand. But as a result of using it, techno gives me anxiety now. Used to really love it. So even in mild ways the best of things can fuck with you. I don’t really struggle with drugs other than alcohol (and thats a weird one because i just fall out of use, same as weed, after months or years of heavy use), but thats mostly because i don’t use anything else particularly addictive because i don’t trust myself. Actually, because i know what I’d do. I seem to fall out of alcohol use when my mental state improves to the point i don’t need a crutch. But until then, its bad. Ngl. And weed just stops being fun periodically, so sometimes i take years-long breaks even though it’s good for my pain. Im super interested in drugs, though. Like genuinely id love to try them all with no risk. I used to read bluelight just to imagine how it felt. I want VR to work for me because that feels like a mild trip (makes me hella nauseated, so no dice until holodeck exists). If i ever go terminal, or get old enough to not care how much i fuck up my future, ill be doing all the drugs. Im glad you’ve come out the other end of it reasonably intact, sounds like :) And thank you for sharing your experiences with me, for my edification :) i genuinely appreciate it. If you want to share more, even about other substances, id be interested in reading it, to live vicariously through you :)

Im going to save this but it sounds like those aren’t just various strains of mushies? and idk if id go out of my way to obtain drugs i cant cultivate myself. I like the idea of mushrooms and i have spores and stuff, just not motivated to grow a new batch. Ive seen extracts of mushies, called “crystals of the gods” which is a dumb name but the only extraction method ive found, and thats what I want to try, because its supposed to completely get rid of the body problems associated with it, though not the enhancement of your natural mood (in my case mostly anxiety) Im kinda afraid of human-made or refined drugs, tbh. What if i like them?

Solid, I’ll keep that in mind, thanks!

I’ve never done acid but I did shrooms twice and haven’t had the balls to try again. The first time was ok, but the second time, come-up anxiety was so intense I spent the entire trip throwing up, shitting my brains out, and having a panic attack. I can’t do that again, but I’m still full of anxiety, so.. nope. Someday id like to try an extract, I’ve heard the mushroom itself is where the anxiety and gastric discomfort comes from, but yeah I’m just not really motivated in case thats wrong.

Right, and you get why this is impossible for most people? That was my original point. Most people, even if they want to do this, can’t. It’s unaffordable. The point is that your suggestion that someone is free to do this is just very much not the case.

Ok, but if your plan is to live solo forever and not interact with society, you’d basically need to pay for it upfront. That means you need a lot of money all at once, otherwise you’ll still need income, which limits the ability you have to be separate from society.

Yes I know, I’ve looked at them. That’s how I know they are expensive.

They’re free to go live in the wilderness, with no roads, no fire department, no water or electricity, no services whatever, and find out how much they’re actually benefiting from our collective. Where? This is what I want to do, but I can’t afford to buy land on which to do it (and not just any land is useful for this either, it needs to be capable of supporting people before you can count it). Land enough to support a small homestead isn’t cheap, and zoning/local laws often restricts what you can do on it. So for example you may buy land, but not be allowed to drill a well, even if you have the means and knowledge to do so. Or if you buy land you can afford, you may not be allowed to build a permanent structure on it at all. You’ll get kicked out (and possibly fined) of both state and national parks in the US if they find you “permanently camping”, which they are likely to do since there are frequently people out there. The only other option is squatting on private property. If you get caught before whatever time passes for squatters laws to take effect, you lose everything you’ve built up. I mean don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind paying for things I’ll never use because it makes society as a whole better. All I’m saying is opting out of living in a society is nearly impossible for most people even if they are ok with not having all the stuff society funds like roads and fire control.

Depends heavily on the comedy for me. I have an entire folder of stand up specials, and I really enjoy a lot of it, but I lean heavily away from political and broad social commentary, and toward personal/anecdotal and more nuanced stuff. I want my comedy to be silly, not offensive. If you are going to be making racial/minority stereotype jokes, they better be about your own experience as that race or minority. That’s the one and only way they even could be funny (tho most still aren’t). If you are going to punch down or across, not interested. If you hit yourself, or punch up and get a fist full of shit for doing it, it might be worth watching! There’s a HUGE amount of really shit standup out there, though. Punching down, shock comedy (especially shit like rape jokes, sexism, etc), that sort of thing. It’s a shame really because you have to wade through it to find good stuff. There’s also an absolutely absurd amount of totally vapid brainrot comedy that could also go extinct, imo, but at least it’s not actively harming anyone, I guess.

You mean we could have seen these memes before?