nash

mastodon should make it so you can boost posts with a target direction. so that when we get hit with a spam wave from some big open reg instance, we can return fire

guess who just got back today
that great clown pagliacci who had been away

haters will try to say a poll you voted in has ended

this is your captain speaking. we've received word of some floating around going on in the plane. please stop that. this is a gentle but firm reminder that passengers are not to be floating around during the flight.

happy birthday to all Fools

hold left trigger to aim at the post & hit right trigger to boost

millenials have exhausted our capacity for killing industries. we no longer have any effect on industries

I step outside & immediately an assassin fires a volley of rounds at me from the back of a UPS van parked up the street, screeching away as I dive behind a retaining wall. Cautiously, I drag myself up and scurry back to porch, only to find they've somehow managed to stick one of those "Sorry we missed you" tags on my front door.

Mean Girls is a cultural classic for sure, but it's not the only one of it's kind. Median Girls and Mode Girls are two other crucial tools for getting a clear and well-rounded picture of what your Girl Data is really saying

Kramer vs Predator

HOSTAGE NEGOTIATOR [climbing out of the SWAT van & putting on sunglasses]: okay, what've we got?
SERGEANT: bank robbery gone wrong. white male, ball cap. he's got something like 20 to 30 hostages in there.
NEGOTIATOR: what's he carrying? gun? bomb?
SERGEANT: it's one of those bluetooth speakers. says he'll play "Hey There Delilah" by the Plain White T's if anybody tries anything
NEGOTIATOR: jesus christ

buy an order of magnitude?? no way I have the money for that

anybody else's night feel weirdly similar in length to their day??

you ever write code so inefficient they have to update the whole power grid

which is the best musical instrument?

lifting up the lid on my car's center console and unscrewing the valve on the tank of NAS hidden inside, slamming on the gas as the stereo starts blasting tunes from my local music library

sega project lead: okay folks, just got word from up top that our next game character is gonna be a hedgehog. so what is a hedgehog's primary asset, in an action setting?

somebody: it's gotta be speed, right? super speed??

everybody else: yeah, speed definitely

doing readings with the chance & community chest cards from a monopoly set

computer, fetch me the latests posts from the fedi

the consequences of my actions

is it weird that I really want to make a paint brush out of this big lock of my hair

all you really need to cut your own hair is scissors & a willingness to live with the consequences of your actions

my high school self 🤝 me today
"I just really want a PDA"

look at her

(cw cat photo)

SCULLY: Mulder, you can't possibly believe a shrimp fried this rice
MULDER: That's what it says on the menu, Scully

one thing—some might say the only thing—Star Wars and Star Trek both truly agree on is that space should be expressed musically with big brassy horns

Checking Out, Burning Out, & Crashing Out: What's the Difference & Which One Is Right For You?

you wouldn't
JUXT
a
POSITION

holding the website down with my foot & pointing my sword at them as I check this box: