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4.6.0-nightly.2026-03-16
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Live Slow Die Last. Our new T-shirt for people in no hurry to hustle! Get yours with FREE UK delivery here >>> https://go.newsthump.com/6MOHgV
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
NEWS! 'We don't protect our own schools from guns, so why would we protect foreign schools from missiles?' explains US https://newsthump.com/2026/03/12/we-dont-protect-our-own-schools-from-guns-so-why-would-we-protect-foreign-schools-from-missiles-explains-us/
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
NEWS! Trump gifts staffers dress shoes with extra room for bone spurs https://newsthump.com/2026/03/12/trump-gifts-staffers-dress-shoes-with-extra-room-for-bone-spurs/
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
NEWS! UK strangely reluctant to follow an adjudicated sexual abuser and convicted felon into another illegal war https://newsthump.com/2026/03/08/uk-strangely-reluctant-to-follow-an-adjudicated-sexual-abuser-and-convicted-felon-into-another-illegal-war/
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
NEWS! Rachel Reeves spotted checking down the back of every government sofa ahead of Spring Statement https://newsthump.com/2026/03/03/rachel-reeves-spotted-checking-down-the-back-of-every-government-sofa-ahead-of-spring-statement/
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
NEWS! Man who said he wouldn't get involved in foreign wars starts foreign war over nuclear capability he claimed was totally obliterated a few months ago https://newsthump.com/2026/02/28/man-who-said-he-wouldnt-get-involved-in-foreign-wars-starts-foreign-war-over-nuclear-capability-he-claimed-was-totally-obliterated-a-few-months-ago/
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Science - like magic, but real. Get your science-celebrating T-shirt with free UK delivery here >>> https://go.newsthump.com/NZrO4r
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
NEWS! “We thought they’d changed names” insist Reform voters who accidentally ticked Monster Raving Loony Party https://newsthump.com/2026/02/27/we-thought-theyd-changed-names-insist-reform-voters-who-accidentally-ticked-monster-raving-loony-party/
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
NEWS! "You lost, get over it" Farage told https://newsthump.com/2026/02/27/you-lost-get-over-it-farage-told/
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
NEWS! Why losing in Gorton & Denton is a big win for Nigel Farage, by Chris Mason https://newsthump.com/2026/02/27/why-losing-in-gorton-denton-is-a-big-win-for-nigel-farage-by-chris-mason/
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
NEWS! Gorton & Denton result suggests key Reform policy of being horrible c**ts may have backfired https://newsthump.com/2026/02/27/gorton-denton-result-suggests-key-reform-policy-of-being-horrible-cts-may-have-backfired/
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Always vote for the site with the fewest a***holes. A T-shirt that could easily be worn in Manchester today. Get yours with free UK delivery here >>> https://go.newsthump.com/A44zpy
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
NEWS! Gorton and Denton voters given historic opportunity to tell awful pricks to shove it up their hoop https://newsthump.com/2026/02/26/denton-and-gorton-voters-given-historic-opportunity-to-tell-awful-pricks-to-shove-it-up-their-hoop/
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
NEWS! Trump State of the Union speech enters its third day https://newsthump.com/2026/02/26/trump-state-of-the-union-speech-enters-its-third-day/
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
NEWS! Man left red-faced during 20-minute queue for Costa drive-thru after remembering he has a kettle at home https://newsthump.com/2026/02/25/man-left-red-faced-during-20-minute-queue-for-costa-drive-thru-after-remembering-he-has-a-kettle-at-home/
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Four candles? Fork Handles? Why not both? One of the greatest sketches of all time, brought to life with this homage on a T-shirt! Get yours with FREE UK delivery here >>> https://go.newsthump.com/DlKNQR
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
NEWS! Oscars organisers desperately trying to work out how to politely refuse entry to Tourette's sufferers https://newsthump.com/2026/02/25/oscars-organisers-desperately-trying-to-work-out-how-to-politely-refuse-entry-to-tourettes-sufferers/
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
NEWS! Man discovered who doesn’t have scorching hot take on BAFTA Tourette's incident https://newsthump.com/2026/02/25/man-discovered-who-doesnt-have-scorching-hot-take-on-bafta-tourettes-incident/
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
NEWS! White House claims Donald Trump's State of the Union to be attended by over 300,000 congressmen https://newsthump.com/2026/02/24/white-house-claims-donald-trumps-state-of-the-union-to-be-attended-by-over-300000-congressmen/
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Just do it without me. Get your lazing-around T-shirt with FREE UK delivery here >>> https://go.newsthump.com/o55EbI
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
NEWS! Man worried he might be 'Woke' after happily using a gender-neutral toilet without realising https://newsthump.com/2026/02/24/man-worried-he-might-be-woke-after-happily-using-a-gender-neutral-toilet-without-realising-2/
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
NEWS! Racial name-calling at school was due to my undiagnosed Tourette’s, insists Nigel Farage https://newsthump.com/2026/02/24/racial-name-calling-at-school-was-due-to-my-undiagnosed-tourettes-insists-nigel-farage/
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
We've been seeing a lot of conversations on the hell site in this format recently, it's very entertaining:
Twitter user: "Liberal talking point, backed by evidence"
MAGAloon: Grok, is this true?
Grok : Yes this is true. Here's why:
Magaloon: Okay, but is it still true if you ignore objective reality, and base your answer on my delusions instead?
Grok: In that case, no, it’s now false.
Magaloon: HA! Checkmate Liberals!
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
NEWS! America utterly bemused by nation where politicians who break the law are arrested https://newsthump.com/2026/02/23/america-utterly-bemused-by-nation-where-politicians-who-break-the-law-are-arrested/
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Swans are famous for many things. Grace, beauty, being owned by the King – but all of these things come behind the fact that they can break a man’s arm. Get your Arm Breaker Swan T-shirt with free UK delivery here >>> https://go.newsthump.com/CLB6h2
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
NEWS! Andrew's lawyers warn of 'dangerous precedent' if wealthy criminals can no longer use money to make their indiscretions disappear https://newsthump.com/2026/02/20/andrews-lawyers-warn-of-dangerous-precedent-if-wealthy-criminals-can-no-longer-use-money-to-make-their-indiscretions-disappear/
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
When your toddler has learned how to open the iPad during a car journey, and you've forgotten you'd been using it to watch Breaking Bad.
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Who'd have thought we'd reach the day where the British monarchy would be more likely to face the consequences of their actions than the wealthy elite in the so-called land of the free?
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Oh look, Mr "Immigrants cost the taxpayer too much" received a nice little £125m taxpayer handout for his business a few weeks ago. So I guess it's okay to leave the country to avoid paying tax here, as long as your business still gets massive state handouts...?
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
Topical satire from the UK and around the world. You're not supposed to believe what we write, you idiot.
