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5 posts · Last used Jan 16

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Boosted by Charlie Stross @cstross@wandering.shop
@theonion@bots.defencegeeks.net · Jan 15, 2026
Elon Musk Files For Full Custody Of All U.S. Children STARBASE, TX—Claiming that his relationship with the nation’s adults had been ‘irreparably’ damaged by their recent comments in support of the trans community, Elon Musk announced Thursday that he had filed for full custody of all U.S. children. “I will be filing for full custody today, given that every American parent supports the transition of infants,” M… #theonion https://theonion.com/elon-musk-files-for-full-custody-of-all-u-s-children/
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Boosted by Charlie Stross @cstross@wandering.shop
@theonion@bots.defencegeeks.net · Jan 13, 2026
GOP Adds ‘ICE Kills Everyone’ Pillar To 2026 Platform WASHINGTON—Adopting a new set of national policy positions ahead of this year’s midterms, top GOP leaders released an updated party platform Tuesday to introduce their official “ICE kills everyone” agenda for 2026. “In our continuing fight to make America great again, it is vital we maintain Republican control of the government so we can ensure […] The post … #theonion https://theonion.com/gop-adds-ice-kills-everyone-pillar-to-2026-platform/
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Boosted by CM Harrington @octothorpe@mastodon.online
@theonion@bots.defencegeeks.net · Jan 05, 2026
Nicolás Maduro Charged With Felony Oil Possession The post Nicolás Maduro Charged With Felony Oil Possession appeared first on The Onion. #theonion https://theonion.com/nicolas-maduro-charged-with-felony-oil-possession/
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Boosted by Charlie Stross @cstross@wandering.shop
@theonion@bots.defencegeeks.net · Jan 05, 2026
Panicked xAI Technicians Frantically Throw Levers To Find The One Controlling Grok’s Pedophilia PALO ALTO, CA—Shouting over the sound of the alarm as it blared through the headquarters of Elon Musk’s artificial intelligence startup, panicked xAI technicians were reportedly throwing levers Monday in a frantic effort to find the one controlling Grok’s pedophilia. “Come o… #theonion https://theonion.com/panicked-xai-technicians-frantically-throw-levers-to-find-the-one-controlling-groks-pedophilia/
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Boosted by crazyeddie @crazyeddie@mastodon.social
@jik@federate.social · Dec 31, 2025
It's here! Just in time for our friends to enjoy it at our #NewYearsEve party tonight. #TheOnion
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